You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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