R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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