another moral hangover. fuck.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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