dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
