..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
