So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
