we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
