You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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