toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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