I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I wish I only lived at night.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
