you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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