I heard we made out
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
