Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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