Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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