Kiss
Puke
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
