after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
