i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
