i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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