What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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