So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
this is an emotional support booty call
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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