we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
