weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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