she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
