Small penises have feelings too.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize