At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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