my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
she smelled like a LAN party
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
