pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
