we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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