I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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