Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
