Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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