but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
