Just fell off a train. Bad.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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