i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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