this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You're a disaster
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