I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
