U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize