Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I want a musical about memes.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
