If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
