WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
