Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
