Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize