Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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