tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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