we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
