so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
