I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
