remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
