Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
this is an emotional support booty call
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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