he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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