I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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