oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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