i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
