At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
