I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
