I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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