I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
