he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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