Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
