well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
