OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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