I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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