mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
