we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
